Forbidden Pleasure

Like sex, gossiping too is one of the forbidden pleasures of life. This post is not about how gossiping is unhealthy or bad or stuff liek that. No this is about how gossiping is healthy!

For too many years women have been receiving flak for being gossip queens. I beg to differ. When it comes to gossiping men are not to be left behind, much as they may dislike me saying this. But it's a fact. It's just that men dont like calling it gossiping. It's a lot more 'cooler' to say, 'I'm hanging at the bar with the guys tonight'. Well we all know what the talk is going to be about right...sex, sports, cars and some serious bitching about the people in the workplace!

What is it about this small chitchat that makes it so appealing? It's not just the gratification angle that makes it so compelling. The dynamics of human relationships that come into play when we talk about gossiping. The feeling of being 'important' accompanies that makes it so important. People look upto you for being the one who has the 'andar ki khabar' (No I wont say yeh andar ki baat hain...that is best left for the unimaginative marketing people).

Gossping is a great way to bond! It definitely earns you a few more brownie points among co-workers especially if you are the 'provider' of some exciting and spicy news :). Like it or not people gossip to network. It's a great way to break the ice and gain peer acceptance. From a very psychological point of vie it makes one feel like every other human...it's a way to reaffirm that we belong to the society!

It can be a great anti-depressant. Nothing lifts your mood better than a healthy dose of salacious gossip on a blue day. Monday morning blues anyone? All those negative emotions like anger and frustration can be vented out. Bye bye depression, at least for the time being.

So the next time someone gives you a lecture about how they despise gossip-mongers, you can give them a piece of advice and maybe some latest gossip! It'll do them a world of good believe me.

Lonesome traveller

I'm totally into spending time with myself. Dont get me wrong, I have a lot of friends who I love to death, but there are times that even when I'm in a group I want to be by myself. No I'm not self obsessed, but I must admit that it's a very beneficial thing if you love your own company. I've been accused of being moody b'coz of this habit by other mortals who unfortunately have not shared this wonderful experience of discovering themselves without being with others. I've gone for movies alone, I've gone out to restaurants alone, I've gone for music concerts by myself and not once have I felt that it was odd or that I wish someone was here with me. A few people have commented on how this behavior is odd and I've heard "man is a social animal" crap from a lot of 'well-wishers' as well! All I can say to them is that I feel sorry for them...sorry b'coz they have not really had the joys of being a part of the journey that is self-discovery.

The one thing I've not done yet is travel alone and I'm sure that it'll be just as good an experience. There can be several joys for travelling alone. So here's my "Travelling Alone 101 class"...well there really aren't 101 reasons to travel alone but I'm sure I can come up with at least 10 good ones.

#1) Freedom: The most important thing when you're travelling alone. Freedom from others who want to sleep in till 11 in the morning (whats the point to sleep in when you're on a holiday...do it when you're in your house). Freedom from elders who want to call it a night at 9. Hello?!?! Why are you on a holiday again?? Freedom from other people's motion sickness..very important you dont have to stop the car so someone can get their dirty business done. Freedom from some obnoxious relatives who happen to spit more than talk when they open their mouth. Do I really need to elaborate more on this point???

#2) Absurb Itinerary: Your itinerary can be as absurb as quantum physics. You can spend five hours at a beach ogling at pretty, proportionate, well tanned bodies and no one will ask you why. Alternately you can decide peddling a boat at 11.30 in the night (pls carry a life jacket if you plan on doing this, even if you know how to swim). You can start driving off to a new location at 3 in the morning if you feel like and no one will stop you.

#3) Meeting more interesting people: Chances of meeting more interesting people increase geometrically if you leave excess human baggage aside. So you can spend the time on the dance floor with some new interesting person you found.

#4) Photographs: You will spend a lot more time in good meaningful photography rather than asking some people to stand in front of some ridiculous statue and pose for you. Your photo album actually may look very Nat-Geo-esque. And believe me there are many more people who will appreciate these pics.

#5) Lie!: You can tell people you went para-sailing or bungee jumping and no one needs to know you pissed in your pants when you saw others do it! Now that's a good enough reason.

#6) Self-discovery: Some of you'll may actually end up on this path of self-discovery etc etc...so long as you'll dont decide to denounce the pleasures of the world and lead a life devoid of sin....

#7) $$$$: You save a hell a lot more than you think you would...all that Lakshmi, Chanda, Dhan, Daulat, Rokda...can then be put to use in buying all those fancy accessories you wanted to buy.

#8) Lie some more: You can be sleeping in your room all day long and telling people what a wonderful travelling experience you are having. On a more serious note if you are actually spending the time in the room you are the KING/QUEEN...the TV remote is all yours :):):)...no more saas-bahu dramas for you...bye bye Ekta Kapoor :):):)

#9) Earn some good karma: You can always call up people and tell them you are missing them and earn some extra brownie points from them :)

Now after all these reasons do you really need a 10th reason?? I sure dont and am lookin fwd to the time when I have enough $$$ to go on a trip somewhere by myself....and yea there are so many places to discover in India itself that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea starting at home.

The Metrosexual male

I dont claim to be a fashion pundit. Infact I dont claim to know anything about fashion at all, and it isn't unusual for me to wear a green tee-shirt over a pair of red cargos. Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, no I am not a Govinda fan. But this is not about me or the lack of my fashion or dressing sense.

I dont very well remember when I first heard about this term, 'metrosexual male', but it must have been somewhere in 2001 when Dil Chahta Hain was released and we were seeing Aamir and Saif and to a lesser extent Akshaye Khanna in very different look. The long hair for Saif and thankfully for the rapidly balding Akshaye Khanna had disappeared and Aamir was actually spiking his hair. Ok, must just be a fashion trend I thought and infact to be very honest was quite impressed with the transformation of these three guys. Then I think it was Kal Ho Na Ho where Saif was given two different but very pleasing looks, the formal business one and the casual one, and again I must say, I thought that too was a great look. 2004 was entirely John Abraham's year and there were girls all over the country and I am pretty sure abroad who were probably having some pretty wicked thoughts about him!

I think it's been ever since that this metrosexual male concept has just taken off. Honestly I dont even know what it means! One definition I found with a quick google search is "An urban male with a heterosexual orientation who rejects many macho attributes often linked to masculinity. ..." Well John Abraham isn't really metrosexual then is he? I mean they dont come more macho than him! Well never mind...Now my understnding of this term is a little different... a heterosexual male who essentially likes to groom himself well, is what my thinking is.

Now I have no issues with men who want to take efforts in grooming themselves well, but grooming well to me means making sure you are well dressed and making efforts to make sure you look decent enough. Grooming well for men for me doesnt mean getting manicures and pedicures and chocolate facials and getting your nails done. I mean yea sure equality in sexes is fine, but you know there are some things which are best left for a particular sex only!

Shoe trouble!

This past week I had the chance to go for the annual NSGC (National Society of Genetic Counselors) meet in Kansas City, Missouri. For a country that claims to be developed it is kindda funny that the geography in this country is quite confusing. So you have a state Kansas, but Kansas City is in Missouri. Now do we have a Maharashtra city in Assam?? No we dont, b'coz we like making things simple, something that Americans clearly dont like doing. But that's okay, I enjoyed telling all my friends, "Oh I'm going to Kansas city, no it's not in the state Kansas, it's actually in Missouri"...I do get pleasures in unusual things. Moving on....well it was a good experience. Honestly I liked the one in Nashville last year better in terms of content, but that's a different matter altogether.

So after 4 days of this conference and my annual over exposure to Estrogen, I was happy to be on my flight back home to Houston. After a rather long and may I add boring wait of 3 hours at the airport in Kansas city (which if you care to know, has like 2 plug poits in the entire waiting area, so sadly I couldlt plug in my laptop) I was finally boarding my flight. Now I had a stop-over at Dallas. I hate stop-overs. Well they save you money and I love money. My love for money exceeds my hatred for stopovers, so I choose this flight. Moving on...after a rather long flight I reached Houston airport at around 8.20, 20 mins later than the scheduled time of arrival.

Now here's my mental state....having lived in Kansas city for like 4 days, probably 12 hours of sleep in those 4 days, tired, overexposed to estrogen, wanting to just come home and crash...generally I was crabby. Could things be worse?? They could, I could be in Iraq for all you know....but that isnt important here. Well things did get worse as my luggage didnt show up. So in quite a pissed mood, I went up to the baggage claim area to see what we could do about this.

The person sitting across in the baggage claim area, the representative for the airlines happens to a desi aunty. 'Hey Bhaggu', I say to myself...just what I needed. So i trudge along to tell her what has happened. Obviously she has to ask me the most ridiculous questions. At times I wonder, is it written on my face, "You are allowed to ask me the stupidest possible questions?" (and for all those wonderful professors of mine who say, "no question is a stupid question"...well sorry but I disagree, lead my life and you will soon know). So the conversation that followed:
Desi Aunty (DA): Oh sir how can I help you?
Me: I was travelling from Kansas City (Grrr) to Houston and my luggage hasnt reached here.
DA: Which airlines did you fly?
Me: American airlines(why else would I come to your desk, I mean you are the American Airlines representative...am I a retard to come here)
DA: And you checked on the belt???
Me: Yes I did and it is not there (Grrr....)
DA: Ok I can help you (smiles)
Me: Thank You (thank God for small mercies)
DA: When did you last see your bags?
Me: At Kansas City airport when I checked in (this question sounded more like an interrogation to me)
DA: So you checked it in..
Me: Yes (No I just expected that my bags would fly with me and reach here)
DA: Ok what color bag were you carrying?
Me: It was blue.
Da: Blue?? Dark blue, light blue
Me: Dark blue..(you have the tag on the bag, just match the freakin number)
DA: What were you carrying in the bag?
Me: Clothes! (Actually I had 2 bodies neatly folded and there were 2 AK 47s also)
DA: Describe your clothes
Me: White dress shirt, grey trousers, brown trousers.
DA: No, no something more specific
Me: Ummmm...(a pair of bright red boxers with green trees on them)(no I dont have these but...)
Well there were 3 pairs of shoes....$%#@!!!
All 3 pairs of shoes that I have were in that freakin bag! What the hell was I going to wear to work the next day?? That's when it struck me! Never before in my life have I come across such a freakin funny and yet potentially serious situation before. I was so amused by it that for the next hour I was actually laughing about it. Two phone calls followed this and I was thinking of all the possible things I could say, to try and avoid reporting to work. Unfortunately none of them worked and I ended up showing up at work wearing my favourite, ultra-comfortable flip-flops (thongs, as they are called in Australia)! Shoe trouble anyone?!?!?!

Why GC?

I must admit this is a very different kind of a post from my usual ones where there is a sarcastic take on different issues. But this thought has been bugging me for quite some time and I have not been able to decide if I am business minded or not. How did I start thinking about this? So by profession I am a genetic counselor, well a recently graduated genetic counselor to be precise. So a lot of my work deals with working with patients, usually with some genetic issues. So when I work I have to be this politically correct person, using appropriate language, not giving an opinion (which for someone like me who is very opinionated is very difficult), etc etc. And I must admit, I enjoy my profession to a large extent. Yes, there are days that I do feel drained, but that's a part and parcel of any profession I would think.

The problem I have is that most genetic counselors I have met try to (and I say try to b'coz I dont know if they truly believe in what they say!) portray this image of being philanthropists (well not technically, but you my point na). It's almost like, "Oh I choose this profession b'coz I want to do good to mankind"..blah blah blah... And fine 2-3% of people in the world may be like this, but I find it difficult to believe that more than 98% of people in a certain profession echo the same sentiments. I will stick my neck out and say I choose this profession for two reasons, first my love for genetics and second I want to earn money. Now I realize the first of the two reasons sure is being fulfilled, the second one, umm maybe there isnt as much money in this profession as I thought ther would be...but that's another story altogether.

Clearly I am doing this because I like to do this. I am doing this because this is how I am going to earn money. I am doing this because it gives me the intellectual satisfaction that otherwise I do not get. I like being the 'person who will talk about genetics and diseases' with patients. Secretly deep down inside me it gives me a thrill I am one of the few people who have the capability of discussing issues with patients that most other (most being the important word, have not said all) health care providers are not comfortable with.

Another issue I have very strong feelings about is money. Whenever it comes to the health care providers, people always seem to have a problem paying. They have all the moolah when they want to go out shopping, and even though they complain about the steep price of clothes, it doesnt deter them from buying them. But when it comes to paying the health care providers, money always becomes an issue. When their children want some obnoxious looking stuffed toys which are priced probably 10 times more than what I spend on my weekly gorcery, they seem to have the money. But when it comes to shelling out money to us, no it's an ongoing complaint, "Doctors and other health care providers should not charge this much, it's a nobel profession". Why?? Dont we have our own needs, dont we want to live a comfortable life, and yes dont some of us also want to spend money on that same obnoxious stuffed toy! I think medicine should also be treated like a business, after all we are also here to make a living. If you dont have a problem with Ambani's swimming and probably drowning in money why do you have a problem with people in my profession who at least dream of tying to float in money???

A feeling of Emptiness

Moving to a new city can be difficult...yes I'd heard that before. Never quite did I know it would be to an extent that within weeks I would start doubting my decision to come here in the first place.

It's not been easy, not by any stretch of the imagination. Not that I was very attached to Detroit, far from it in fact. But I think, just the fact that I had spent two years there, that I was familiar with the place, made me kindda feel 'at home'. Houston is a completely different city. If at all I should be happier here. I mean it's a lot more safe as compared to Detroit, I have a job here which is not bad, I have extended family closeby should any emergency arise, heck I even have my own car here. Why then am I not happy? Well yea I've not made any friends here, hopefully that shall change with time. But then besides my roomate in Detroit, I didnt really have any great friends there as well. But it felt very different being there.

There is a strange feeling of lonliness here. It's almost as if I dont want to come back home from work. Is it because my apartment is empty? Well put in the furniture there and make it better decorated, will that really make that big a difference? Or is it just the fact that with time possibly I will start liking this city as well? That's the one thing that is keeping me going. Maybe with time I will find things to do here, people to hang out with over the weekends, some interesting activities, some fun trips somewhere.

But as of now, it's still a very empty feeling, there is something lacking, and I'm not quite sure what...that's the most frustrating part, not knowing what you are missing

Chuck De India!

Ok I agree it's a good film, it's a different film but it's nowhere close to being a great film as it is made out to be. Clearly the film was made for commercial purposes so lets not kid ourselves in believing that the film was made to revive Indian hockey...how many of us actually know that hockey is the national sport of India?? Yes Shahrukh was good, restrained and wasnt given the chance to start hamming, have to give credit to the director for that :)

The reivews the film has got make it sound like it's one of the finest Hindi movies made...and yea a few good friends of mine also gave me these reviews (clearly we do not agree here!). If movies indeed have such an impact then following Aamir's footsteps India should have been cycling champions after Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar and surely after Lagaan and Iqbal won the cricket world cup! So if the director and those 16 wonderful ladies actually believe that they will revive Indian hockey...then they are definitely only fooling themselves.

Post the release of the film if one has noticed closely, only three of those 16 girls Sagarika Ghagte(Preeti Sabarval), Shilpa Shukla (Bindya Nayak) and Vidya Malavde (Vidya Sharma) have been hogging all the limelight. They have been all over the news giving interviews about women's hockey..if they are indeed so concerned about women's hockey why dont they do something to promote the sport?? Have we ever seen the other girls in the film say Soimoi (Nisha Nair) giving interviews or even in photographs except the odd group photo. Clearly the less glamorous girls were kept in the background...and not just in the film.

Chak (Chuck) De India will make absolutely no difference to the way Indian hockey is viewed, coz the filmmakers are making no efforts to promote the film in the rural areas, where the future hockey players will emerge from. How many hockey players has Mumbai produced in the last decade? Take away Dhanraj Pillay and Viren Rasquina...how many other names can you think of? The multiplex audience will watch the film, enjoy their popcorn show some pop-patriotism and quickly forget about the film, yes and this includes those people who recommended the film to me as well.

Changing Names and all that!

After a couple of rather serious blogs, it's time once again to write abt some light stuff. One of the things that I am quite peeved about is people 'stealing' someone else's name and then making it their own. Okay I know this sounds a bit confusing so I shall elaborate.

I really like Alisha Chinai's voice. It's very sweet, she seems to have a good range and generally speaking her choice of songs are decent enough. Now what problem do I have with her? Hmm she was named Sujata, at birth and presumably went by that name for some time. Okay I agree that in all probability she doesn't look anything like a Sujata would (all Sujata's dont mind, I'm just being very opinionated here). The name Sujata also probably doesnt quite go with the 'baby doll' image that she initially had created. And fine she wanted to change her name to something that probably goes more with the image that she had in mind. Fair enough. What troubles me is that, she changed her name to Alisha, which was the name of her cousin's daughter (also Alisha Chinai). Now that is a clear case of , a) not being creative enough (c'mon lets be honest here, it doesn't take too much time to come up with a half-decent name right, that you have to actually steal someone else's name, that too your own relatives), b) clearly this is plagiarism and I think her cousin should sue her, over the name (she will make a few lakhs of it, perhaps she should consult me about this and give me my 20% commission) and c) lack of being unaware to the future consequences which I shall now talk about.

Ok think of it this way, what if that niece (Alisha Jr.) also decides to take up singing (and I will assume that she will). It will create such major confusion for everyone in the film industry. Say a certain music director wants to record a song, it will mean he/she will have to have the contact number of the correct Alisha, either Jr. or Sr., which then means that much more space is taken up by his sim card or memory card on his phone, or telephone directory. So essentially he/she for no fault of theirs have to 'surrender' more space in their life, b'coz one woman cannot be creative enough in naming herself.

Secondly, if Alisha Sr. and Alisha Jr. both get nominated for their respective songs at these umpteen award functions that we have these days (and yes both of them will...lets forget probability of this happening and assume it will happen), it will mean more efforts on the part of the the announcers to say Alisha Jr. or Alisha Sr., and seriously how dumb does that sound, when someone announces, the winner of the award if Alisha Jr. or Alisha Sr. So again, unnecessary confusion, chaos and embarassment will be created, for no fault of Jr.

The solution to this could be if Jr. decides to change her name. But hang on a minute, why should she change her name? This was her birth name, it was Sr. who changed her name to Jr.'s name due to lack of creativity, laziness or whatever, but why does Jr. have to change her name for this? So the only solution I see to this is that Sr. should change her name to something else again, yes something other than Sujata. Luckily for her, she is not the only non-creative one, our dear Bappida is tough competition, what with him having a son Bappa Lahiri. Bappa ka pappa Bappi :). People in the creative field, surprise me time and again with their lack of creativity!

The Story Of Indian Cricket

Indian Cricket, run by the BCCI is a true representation of a typical Bollywood movie, if only we added a few songs to it. The board is run by people who it seems love taking efforts in making sure that there is a screw up almost in every series that is played. The problems regarding the broadcasting rights it seemed was an ongoing issue for over 2 years! If that seems to have been sorted out (and I'm pretty sure it will resurface sooner rather than later), we had the fiasco over appointing a coach for the Indian team.

It was yet another perfect example of how not to do things. Indian team came back from West-Indies with their tails b/w their legs in April after a pretty pathetic display of cricket to say the least. Happens. A few effigies were burnt, Dhoni's house apparently was attacked (for reasons known best to biharis). If he did not play well, how does threatning his parents and family help, can someone please explain to me? Greg Chapell after two rather tumultous years resigned (perhaps for the best). The BCCI had 2 months to decide on whom to invite for the new coach's job. What did they do? First they sent feelers to Dav Whatmore that he was the man, since he had shown interest. Then we are made to believe a certain Sunil Gavaskar was opposed to his appointment, and his name disappeared as fast as it had appeared and suddenly in a week's time we had Graham Ford (with Dravid's backing) and John Emburey (with Gavaskar's backing) being interviewed. Very conviniently, BCCI announced Ford had agreed on the job only to recieve one tight slap on their face when he politely declined.

Why did this happen? Well I'm no management student, but you dont need to be an Einstein to guess this right. The BCCI behave like a high school bully, thinking that no one can and will refuse a job that they offer, coz well of course they are the richest board. How difficult would it have been to invite a few candidates when they 2 long months to do this, but no the arrogance of Indian Cricket has always been it's downfall. And that is perhaps one of the most important reasons why Indian cricket is nowhere close to achieving excellence. If you have arrogance and anger as your two best friends, then on your path to excellence you dont need any enemies. And Indian cricket has arrogance and anger in plenty.

That's over and done with, but why are they still so inactive?? Now what are they waiting for? The team to come back from England, possibly beaten and then find a coach a week before the Twenty 20 world cup? Why cant they start search and invite candidates at this time? Is it because Gavaskar and Shastri are in England and not available to give their words of wisdom? If they select a coach right now, he can be sent to England, where he can at least get a feel for the job and hopefully by the time the twenty 20 world cup starts, has built a good working relationship with the players. It wont be an ideal situation, but who is to blame for this?

The selectors are act in no less wierd ways. In the recent Future cup series, Rahul Dravid has publicly said that Piyush Chawla has been the find of the tour. Agreed. The boy has had a decent outing in the ODI series. Agreed he got hit in the last game, but that is to be expected of an 18 year old playing his 5th game. Now if we truly believe that he is the future of Indian spin bowling, then what is doing on that flight back to India? If he is to succeed Anil Kumble, does it not make sense in having him on the tour to England. Sure he possibly wouldnt have played a game, but what better way to learn the nuances of leg-spin, and about bowling in different conditions which are alien to him than spending time with Anil Kumble himself? But instead he will find himself in India again, where the domestic season is wrapped up. The same may hold true for Dinesh Karthick, who is a very fine cricketer indeed and has shown that he is ready to take up any challenge that is thrown at him. He has been asked to open the batting and he did a decent job in South Africe in one innings and in Bangladesh in a couple of matches. But to expect the same of him in seaming conditions in England, may be asking a little too much of the youg man. I feel for him because knowing the way Indian selectors pick and choose teams, a failure on this tour may possibly lead to his exclusion. Aakash Chopra and Sanjay Bangar will vouch for that. It would indeed be just another day in the office for the selectors and the BCCI, but we are all too familiar with the entire process now!

The Pursuit Of Happiness (No this isn't a review for the film)

As I stated in my title, this is not a review for the film. Fortunately or unfortunately I have neither the understanding of film critiquing, nor the inclination. Now if we're talking about writing a script for a really bakwaas movie, maybe I stand a chance. Heck I may even win some award like say if they had a FILMSHAME award or something similar..getting my point na :) Basically what I'm saying is that I suck at those kind of 'arty' things. Give me genes and chromosomes and I'm most comfortable.

This blog entry essentially is my take on happiness or the state of being happy. Ok, what is happiness? Princeton dictionary says it is the state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Being a wikipedia fan, I have to add their definition as well. They say it is the state of being happy (like I didn't know that). They also say that the definition of happiness is one of the greatest philosophical quandaries. Proposed definitions include freedom from want and distress, consciousness of the good order of things, assurance of one's place in the universe or society, inner peace, and so forth. ... I like this second part.

But when is a person happy? Is happiness the same feeling as being content? Can I say that if I am happy then I am content, or vice-versa. Or does someone achieve the state of being happy when they are free of greed? If all my wishes/desires are satisfied am I happy? If I am not sad, am I happy? (definitely not going my state of mind presently). Your guess is as good as mine here coz there are no right or wrong answers to these questions.

When was the last time I was happy? I think the last time I was really happy was when I had been to India in December. It just 'felt good', it 'felt right' and that was freaking 6 months ago. It was almost after a year and a half that I felt that no one was judging me, I did not have to think before I said something, not every word that I was saying was being closely monitored, I could scream as loudly as I wanted to and no one would mark me down. Going by this, happiness would be not being depressed (well not clinically but I was very close).

If I think about the future, what will make me happy? The perfect job, the perfect boss, the perfect salary, a perfect partner who will stand by me in this otherwise imperfect world? Will perfection make me happy? NO, it certainly wont. Will I be happy to go back to India and start working there in the future? Perhaps...I do not know. One thing that I know will make me happy is, the day I start a training program in Genetic Counseling in India...and I dont see that happening for at least 12-15 years. Do I have to wait for happiness for that long then? No I don't think so...

After penning down (well not literally, typing down if you will) my thoughts, I've come to the conclusion happiness is a variable state of mind which can express itself with numerous different emotions at different times in one's life. (much like a certain four letter word which can be used to express numerious feelings!)

Any thoughts??

Intriguing Behavior

One of the things I can never quite understand is why do girls almost always go to the loo together? Okay before you'll get any funny ideas no there is no ulterior meaning(?) (heard of ulterior motive not sure if meaning can quite be used, but I'm sure you'll have figured out what I want to say) to this comment. Guys think abt it, have you'll ever noticed a girl going to the loo alone?? Almost never. And I have often wondered why? What is more interesting is that there is a pattern to this. There are two different categories of girls here. The first one is what I call the direct one. She will directly announce, " I am going to the loo", then quickly glance at her friend and be like "Are you coming?"... I feel tempted to ask her, "Why, do you need her help?"...but wiseness prevails and I shut up. The second category is the more girlie category. This girl will look around for a bit, see what the situation is like, what is everyone doing, how many people are looking at her, most likely remove her little mirror and adjust her hair (which is fine, so is her face), but she will still adjust her hair impulsively. Now here's the interesting part...her friend understands exactly what she is doing, while to all others (and by others here I mean men...we are dumb, hints dont work with us) this is as good as unnoticeable. And without us (men, believe me I am not a MCP, in fact I am just pointing out how dumb we men are here) even realizing the two (or more) of them have already gone... Now what are the underlying reasons for this remains to be the question no man will ever figure out. I tried... Moral support?? I dont quite think so, I mean there really isn't much moral support one would need anyways rite... It's like a Ram Gopal Verma mystery...till the end you never understand what the idea of the entire film was?!?!?!

But let's leave the ladies aside for a minute and focus on men. Now thankfully men don't look for company to go the loo, but their behavior is no less wierd...in fact most times it is quite obnoxious. We are all thankful to the govt. for starting these public loos all over the city. And dont ask my why I have observed this behavior....the only thing I can say in my defence is that I have taken a course in photography and that's where I started observing human behavior. Anyways coming back to the point... 7/10 guys when they come out of the loo are seen tucking their shirt in, or worse zipping up. WHY?? I mean why do we have to see that? If you have taken the efforts to go in, pls for our sake spend two more minutes in tucking your shirt in and zipping up. In case you'll are unaware, it is NOT something we are dying to see. And it's not as if you have done something that is very time consuming. I mean without going into too many graphic details, all that you have done is aim, and in case you are carrying some suitcase, look to it that no one steals it and runs away. So why can't you take those extra few precious moments which will spare us (and here us is for both men as well as women)!

Some human behaviors can indeed never be understood!

About love being blind and soulmates...

All of us have at somepoint of time or other heard "Love is blind"....(blah blah) and that "I have at last found my soul mate"... I wonder whether people actually think before saying this, or is it one of those statements which are made just coz they sound good? I think more often than not it's the latter.

Soulmate, a term derived from essentially two different words, soul and mate. Soul which is immaterial part of a person or the actuating cause of an individual life. And mate which in very simple terms means one of a matched pair. Far too often for my liking these words are linked together by people without really understanding what they mean when they are combined. Most of us assume that we can and should (for moral reasons) have only one soulmate. I disagree. No I am not talking about open relationships (and just a side note in a open relationship, there essentially is no soulmate). So let me explain...

Often people talk about 'the one'... is it true that we can only have one kindred spirit in our lifetime? Or is it possible to have a couple of them? ( for someone like me a couple also sounds less). We often hear about the 'perfect one'...the one who will stand by you in this otherwise imperfect world (at least we seem to have made peace with the fact that we dont live in utopia...good start eh??).

Why do we keep trying to find a reason for everything? Is it b'coz it's human nature to find a cause and effect relationship, or is it b'coz it may relieve us of tension, perhaps guilt? Why do we think about the relationship that didn't work, comtemplate that it still feels unfinished, empty? Why do we feel that "oh I thought that person was my soulmate?". Perhaps our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them what would shape our lives? What happens to love when relationships are finished? Does that fade away too? Perhaps if we never veered off the course, we would never fall in love or be who we are. After all seasons change. So do cities. People come in our lives and sadly people go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love and care about are close in your heart and are only a phonecall away...or perhaps a plane ride away.

Why can't we look into our own circle of friends and be our own soulmates, to love, to look after, to guide and to inspire? Why does it always have to be that stranger, who have to come and rescue you? I consider my friends to be my soulmates, the same friends who have seen me grow, fall, and pick myself up again, to continue embarking on the journey that is life. There are so many soulmates in my life...or are we just confusing the idea of being in love with somebody as the soulmate?

Sure I like to believe in the crazy romantic idea of sipping a cup of coffee with someone into the sunset. And if she is 'the one' as people say, then she can find ways of being my alter ego. But to be my soulmate, she's got to try a lot harder!

Ahem..ok the second part now about love being blind?? If love indeed is blind....then why is Victorias Secret so damn popular??? Answer that, then we will talk more about love being blind.

Table Manners

It's kindda difficult to explain why I think of such odd things...but I do and that's the reason I have the statutory warning on my blog. One of the things that irritates me most is people with long legs sitting on the same table as me while eating. I would like to believe I am taller than the average Indian guy (5 ft 11 inches for me is taller than an average Indian guy, though I am sure the Punjabis will have a different opinion).

I think restaurants these days should have comfortable accomodation for tall people to be able to sit aaramse. By aaramse I dont mean you sit with your feet on someone else's chair. Almost always the table that you sit at is at the height where your knees will hit the table from underneath and so to avoid this discomfort, as you look into the eyes of your significant other with louuuuv, or try and avoid the eyes of your boss, you stretch your legs. Now they say that a person usually hangs around with other people similar to him/her. In my case this goes to the extreme level, I usually tend to hang around with people who are of similar stature as well (at least in terms of height if not anything else!). So now you have two tall people :), sitting at one uncomfortable table (alliteration???).

Ok now that I have built up the scenario, what happens next?? Duhh their legs are bound to hit each other and for me that is one of the most irritating things more so in monsoon...I hate anyone's leg touching me when I am eating (even if it happens to my gf, no footsie for me, not at the table at least...in a movie theatre perhaps!). Its one thing for legs to brush against each other and then move away as an immediate reaction, but what do you do about a pair of legs that surreptitiously find themselves on your side of the table, practically under your plate! And unfortunately I cant even turn to these people and say something like "Abe gende ke bacche, saale apne pair apne paas rakh", coz invariably these people turn out to be those 'old uncles' or 'you sister-in-laws aunt' or some obnoxious family friends!

It's one thing to sit at a small corner table and whisper sweet nothing's but I am more and more becoming a fan of large tables where you practically have to throw food across the table! A little inconvenience over the table is acceptable to the discomfort that otherwise I have to bear under the table!

Journey or Destination?

It's one of those perennial questions that comes back to haunt us at least on a couple of occasions, isn't it? What's more important the journey or the destination? It's also one of those questions that I have struggled to answer. The idealist in me says no doubt it is the journey that is more important, and the practical person that resides in me at times says, no yaa it's the destination that counts for just as much if not more. So here I am caught b/w these two alter egos of mine trying to answer a question, which I am sure many have tried to do with varying degrees of success.

Let me side with my idealist(ic?) twin first. Being in grad school I've been asked, what will my first pay cheque look like, far too often for my liking. And the reason I am mentioning this is b'coz that is where the origin of the larger question I am trying to answer lies. Take a minute to think...why am I or for that matter why does anyone go to grad school? For the majority, the answer is to acquire knowledge, to gain a better understanding of what we want to do with our lives and to a certain extent to give a proper direction to our lives. So if we are here to acquire knowledge why should we preoccupy ourselves by thinking of the end product, if you will. Isn't that something that will happen in due course of time? Way too often I have spent time thinking about the grades that I want to get and how to get them. Now instead of thinking about what grades I want, had I spent that time in studying for the grades, wouldn't the grades have taken care of themselves? Speaking about my own profession, genetic counseling...what happens in a session when I am with a patient is a result of what has happened much before I see the patient actually. It is the result of the hard work of preparing for the case, all those role-plays that I hated doing, the numerous times I have 'played' the session in my brain. So instead of putting in effort here had I been preoccupied in thinking about how my session would go, would I be a good enough genetic counselor? Being a sports fan, I always like thinking about examples from sport, especially cricket. Say before any series if a batsman sets a goal of scoring 'x' number of hundreds or 'y' number of runs, doesn't he then get preoccupied by these figures, rather than saying, " Ok let me bat to the best of my ability and the runs will come". I mean what we see in a cricket match is just the end product of all those training session, the net practice and everything else that cricketers do isn't it? So what becomes more important here, the result or the preparation; the destination or the journey?

Ahem...now my practical twin is speaking. Sure the journey is important no doubt, but what does this journey count for, if at the end there is nothing to show? In corporate world especially, does the argument that my idealistic twin put forth still stand? Or in a world where the profit that you make is all that counts, the way you get there becomes immaterial? Perhaps this would lead to an entirely different argument...an argument which can go on and on about the six letter word, which most of us are forgetting. and a word which most people in the corporate world are ready to bury...ETHICS. If I am a businessman, what should I be concentrating on, my turnover or whether people in my organization are enjoying their 'journey' in the corporate life? In cricket in the end what are you recognized by, the number of runs you scored in a series or whether you 'learned' a lot in the series? Perhaps in your first series people will look at how much you learned or improved, but when you call it a day what gets published, the number of runs you scored, the number of wickets you took, the number of matches you won...right.

And so after hoping to come to a conclusion, I am still just as confused, if not more confused about the question I was trying to answer! But for still making a transition from a student to a professional I will stick my neck out and say it is the journey that is more important then the destination :)