After being in the US for about three years now I'm pretty much used to living here and the lifestyle over here. But every now and then there are things that I miss about Mumbai...
Random chance meetings with acquaintances/ friends
Eating chaat in Elco market
Random phone calls to meet friends at all odd hours
Driving off in the middle of the night to Lonavala with friends
Meeting over a cup of coffee past midnight
The hustle and bustle in the city
The travel through the crowded roads
Seeing people walk on the road (Believe me you don't see people walking on the roads here)
Honking when I drive!
Rolling down my car window to abuse someone who just decided to cut right across me :)
The Crazy Traffic...yes I miss it sometimes
Waking up to Jaggu and Tarana say, "Good Morningggggg Mumbai" on the radio
Security of knowing that come what may I can get out of any situation here (well almost any).....
The comfort of knowing that a loved one is only a phone call away
Sitting for hours in a Barista or a Cafe' Coffee Day for no particular reason
Laughing with friends over dialogues of Andaz Apna Apna :)
Living life the way it should be lived... to the fullest....
Monday, 29 September 2008
Thursday, 25 September 2008
Top 5 Reasons Why I am single...
A couple of weeks ago, Houston was hit rather severely by hurricane Ike and as a result the city has been pretty much a mess for the most part. No electricity, gas shortage, people fighting in lines to enter grocery stories etc etc. In short lot of drama was happening. So here I was sitting at home from 6 in the evening to 10 at night with nothing to do. I'd pretty much exhausted reading all the books I have at home, no TV, no Internet, phone had to be used sparingly with the fear of exhausting the batteries. Basically idle mind was happening, and so to try and overcome any devious ideas that would otherwise start creeping in, I decided it was time for introspection... Now that is quite some introduction isn't it.
I started by analyzing why my past relationship had failed. It's been a good four years but since I've always used avoidance as my coping mechanism ,I never quite got to analyze what went wrong there. Anyways, it's probably best that I don't go in to the details of that analysis. But then I started thinking about me being single and pretty happy about it. Parents and other family members obviously are starting to make some noise about it, but I can handle that. Next thought was about the reasons why I am still single and I came up with quite a few.
1) I have a mental image of being with a woman who is more of a tomboy (I am very much straight), someone who is very adventurous, someone will go bungee jumping with me, someone who will play tennis with me on weekends, someone who is willing to get down and dirty and messy and sweaty (while cleaning ;)). Someone who will not want me to get down and open the door of the car for her, someone who will not wait for me to hold the door for her as she walks, someone who will not expect me to pull the chair out as she sits. Sure there are times when I get very chivalrous and will open the door for the lady and pull the chair out for her and stuff. But for the most part I'm most comfortable with women who are very informal like I am. And not that there are not many such girls out there, but I've still to meet one that fascinates me.
2) My obsession for speaking English the correct way (for me this is the British English). Although I do like the US, I still prefer the British English. The use of articles, 'a, an and the' is something most Americans don't understand and that drives me crazy. And nowadays it is difficult to find a person who speaks the British English (if she has the British accent, that will definitely get a few more brownie points). This has nothing to do with Americans or Britishers for that matter, but anyone who pronounces 'ask' as 'aks' really gets on my nerves big time and there are several people in my family who do it. Mom thanks for all those grammar lessons as a child :)
3) I am bad at remembering dates. Birthdays, Anniversaries...you name it. I was never able to remember my ex's birthday and always got in to trouble for that. I admit to a certain extent it was my fault. I mean on her birthday I called her to play the April Fool's joke on her, but I forgot to wish her a happy birthday! I never understand why dates play such an important role in a woman's life. I mean not only are you expected to remember her birthday, but also her mother's, her father's, her dog's , her best friend's (who keeps changing every three months). It doesn't stop there, you are expected to remember the date you first held hands, first kiss, first......gimme a break! Jeez if you are so interested in dates then you should think of being with a historian na not a biologist. We only remember those days of the month that are safe ;). And yes it takes me time to remember that time of the month when suddenly the hormones take complete control and irrational behavior and demands are justifiable. In the year and half that I was with my ex, I had gotten used to getting angry phone calls past midnight every month. After a few of these, the light bulb flashed in my head and that was my cue, " Time to be a patient listener, remove the guy hat of wanting to solve problems, right now it is time to zip up and listen, that is all."
4) I am not willing to spend money on flowers. Why are flowers important to women? Even if you gift her a car, if it's not accompanied by a flower, the look you will get on her face is priceless. It's almost like any gift is incomplete without a flower. A life-form that is meant to wither away and is certain to meet it's death in a few days, for some unknown reason is of prime importance to women. I must admit though flowers also work when you screw up (for the most part). However, I am not ready to spend money on flowers.
5) My flat (apartment) is not the best organized one and very often there are empty coffee mugs lying around, there are clothes thrown around, books piled up. In short it's a mess. But in my mess I know where things are kept. I have yet to meet a girl who has at some time or the other not offered to clean it. "No", I say, 'you'll mess up the system if you clear it up'. This is how I like my things to be, it's my system, it's worked for twenty odd years, I don't see why it can't work further.
OK now I can't think of a sixth reason and I think five reasons are good enough to make me feel good.
I started by analyzing why my past relationship had failed. It's been a good four years but since I've always used avoidance as my coping mechanism ,I never quite got to analyze what went wrong there. Anyways, it's probably best that I don't go in to the details of that analysis. But then I started thinking about me being single and pretty happy about it. Parents and other family members obviously are starting to make some noise about it, but I can handle that. Next thought was about the reasons why I am still single and I came up with quite a few.
1) I have a mental image of being with a woman who is more of a tomboy (I am very much straight), someone who is very adventurous, someone will go bungee jumping with me, someone who will play tennis with me on weekends, someone who is willing to get down and dirty and messy and sweaty (while cleaning ;)). Someone who will not want me to get down and open the door of the car for her, someone who will not wait for me to hold the door for her as she walks, someone who will not expect me to pull the chair out as she sits. Sure there are times when I get very chivalrous and will open the door for the lady and pull the chair out for her and stuff. But for the most part I'm most comfortable with women who are very informal like I am. And not that there are not many such girls out there, but I've still to meet one that fascinates me.
2) My obsession for speaking English the correct way (for me this is the British English). Although I do like the US, I still prefer the British English. The use of articles, 'a, an and the' is something most Americans don't understand and that drives me crazy. And nowadays it is difficult to find a person who speaks the British English (if she has the British accent, that will definitely get a few more brownie points). This has nothing to do with Americans or Britishers for that matter, but anyone who pronounces 'ask' as 'aks' really gets on my nerves big time and there are several people in my family who do it. Mom thanks for all those grammar lessons as a child :)
3) I am bad at remembering dates. Birthdays, Anniversaries...you name it. I was never able to remember my ex's birthday and always got in to trouble for that. I admit to a certain extent it was my fault. I mean on her birthday I called her to play the April Fool's joke on her, but I forgot to wish her a happy birthday! I never understand why dates play such an important role in a woman's life. I mean not only are you expected to remember her birthday, but also her mother's, her father's, her dog's , her best friend's (who keeps changing every three months). It doesn't stop there, you are expected to remember the date you first held hands, first kiss, first......gimme a break! Jeez if you are so interested in dates then you should think of being with a historian na not a biologist. We only remember those days of the month that are safe ;). And yes it takes me time to remember that time of the month when suddenly the hormones take complete control and irrational behavior and demands are justifiable. In the year and half that I was with my ex, I had gotten used to getting angry phone calls past midnight every month. After a few of these, the light bulb flashed in my head and that was my cue, " Time to be a patient listener, remove the guy hat of wanting to solve problems, right now it is time to zip up and listen, that is all."
4) I am not willing to spend money on flowers. Why are flowers important to women? Even if you gift her a car, if it's not accompanied by a flower, the look you will get on her face is priceless. It's almost like any gift is incomplete without a flower. A life-form that is meant to wither away and is certain to meet it's death in a few days, for some unknown reason is of prime importance to women. I must admit though flowers also work when you screw up (for the most part). However, I am not ready to spend money on flowers.
5) My flat (apartment) is not the best organized one and very often there are empty coffee mugs lying around, there are clothes thrown around, books piled up. In short it's a mess. But in my mess I know where things are kept. I have yet to meet a girl who has at some time or the other not offered to clean it. "No", I say, 'you'll mess up the system if you clear it up'. This is how I like my things to be, it's my system, it's worked for twenty odd years, I don't see why it can't work further.
OK now I can't think of a sixth reason and I think five reasons are good enough to make me feel good.
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
The Big Fat Indian Wedding
Fortunately or unfortunately I've had the experience of attending several Indian weddings (not yet attended any wedding for white ppl...my white friends make note of this, it's a very open hint that you'll need to invite me for a wedding soon). It's fascinating how weddings in different cultures in India are so different and yet on the day of the Bidai the girl's family almost always ends up in tears. Now being a Maharashtrian this sounds very bad, but the fact of the matter is that Maharashtrian weddings are among the most bring weddings ever. There's the priest chanting away his shlokas to glory in Sanskrit and nobody else sitting there has a clue of what the guy is saying. However the common thing in all Indian weddings is the kind of people you meet here.
The Patriarch: Usually the father of the groom or some elderly gentleman in the family who is in charge of things. Most frequently he is found to be courteous, is greeting everybody and trying his best to ensure that all the guests are looked after properly.
The Pseudo Patriarch: This is the jealous guy who wanted to be the patriarch and tried his hardest to be one, but for obvious reasons was neither given the respect nor the responsibility. He's the one who tries to show to everyone that it is really he who is in charge of the proceedings and is often seen barking orders at the young men (usually the bride's or the groom's cousins).
The Matriarch: She is ALWAYS the groom's mother who is taking all the pains the ensure everyone knows that this is her special day (well she likes to believe it). She makes it a point to ensure that the photographer will click more pics of hers than anyone else and will probably change more sets of clothes than the bride or the groom.
The Pseudo Matriarch: She's the bitch in the family and she knows it. Every family has one, like it or not. Again for obvious reasons attempts are made to sideline her, but hey vamps and bitches know how to get the limelight. She will be the one always taunting everyone, telling them how what they are wearing doesn't really suit their personality and so on and so forth. Do I really need to describe the behavior of bitches?
The obnoxious welcomer: This is one guy you don't one to meet, and this is also the guy you can never avoid! He is standing right at the entrance with a huge smile on his face. I never quite understand why is he so happy? Fine there is a wedding and someone here is getting married, why the fuck are you so happy about it? He will also want to make sure that you meet his aunt's second cousin's niece who is your age so that 'you can get to know each other well, after all it's your turn next'.
The cranky kid: This is the kid that should have been left at home, but either his/her parent's didn't find a babysitter (I don't blame babysitter's) or simply didn't have consideration for others in the wedding. Invariably this kid will be crying, not just sobbing or wailing, but howling at the top of his voice for no apparent reason. To make matters worse he/she will be wearing those irritating squeaky shoes that make noise (not sound.... noise) when the kids walk. I don't understand what kind of warped sense of humor the parent's have that they decide to buy these shoes for their kids. Soon this kid decides to turn into an engine or worse still an aeroplane and starts hovering around you. These are those kids that should be tripped when no one is looking and when they fall they will cry for five minutes and then probably shut up for the rest of the evening. Revenge is sweet :).
Buffet chatters: Ok I get it, you are getting free food, but dude move it. How much can you eat in a meal? And why is it necessary to stand in the line, stare at the food, ask about where the chicken was purchased, how much oil was used in preparing it, are the rotis fresh. If I was the caterer I would most likely have replied, " The chicken was actually dead 3 years ago but don't worry we tested it for bird flu and the results were inconclusive, the oil really was hair oil that our cook uses and we decided to cut costs so she just squeezed it out of her hair, and as for the rotis, sir these were the left overs from the wedding we did last week. Now since you are so old and already have one foot in the grave we just decided to help you along."
The drunkards: These are undoubtedly my favourites. There are some who make a lot of noise, start dancing, generally are happy for no reason and make sure that they get taken care of (usually by getting themselves thrown out). The quiet drinkers are the more dangerous ones. They will drink and start telling stories about themselves. They will start telling you about how they were the ones who really were the brains behind the success of the growing economy, how they fought famous wars, how they almost became the PM of India. This is not a conversation, it's almost like a theatrical monologue that is performed especially for you. There is only one way to end this misery, by asking them a wild question like, "Wasn't it you that was living with two wives at the same time and having an affair with your boss' secretary?"
The all important Priest: No Indian wedding is completed without this guy. For some unknown reason he is the guy given the most importance! I mean do you job, take your money, eat and go na! But no, he will make sure that everyone in the bride and the groom's close family will touch his feet, he will unfailingly throw some tantrum and make sure that everyone comes running to him to apologize b'coz the bananas are not the right color of yellow that he had asked for. In Maharashtrian weddings what is worse is that he creates this hawan ensuring that there is smoke everywhere in the wedding hall, causing pollution and giving that cranky kid one more reason to cry.
So as they say, after eating the shaadi ka ladoo in this case it is not the bride or the groom who regret it. It is souls like you and me who end up regretting going there in the first place!
The Patriarch: Usually the father of the groom or some elderly gentleman in the family who is in charge of things. Most frequently he is found to be courteous, is greeting everybody and trying his best to ensure that all the guests are looked after properly.
The Pseudo Patriarch: This is the jealous guy who wanted to be the patriarch and tried his hardest to be one, but for obvious reasons was neither given the respect nor the responsibility. He's the one who tries to show to everyone that it is really he who is in charge of the proceedings and is often seen barking orders at the young men (usually the bride's or the groom's cousins).
The Matriarch: She is ALWAYS the groom's mother who is taking all the pains the ensure everyone knows that this is her special day (well she likes to believe it). She makes it a point to ensure that the photographer will click more pics of hers than anyone else and will probably change more sets of clothes than the bride or the groom.
The Pseudo Matriarch: She's the bitch in the family and she knows it. Every family has one, like it or not. Again for obvious reasons attempts are made to sideline her, but hey vamps and bitches know how to get the limelight. She will be the one always taunting everyone, telling them how what they are wearing doesn't really suit their personality and so on and so forth. Do I really need to describe the behavior of bitches?
The obnoxious welcomer: This is one guy you don't one to meet, and this is also the guy you can never avoid! He is standing right at the entrance with a huge smile on his face. I never quite understand why is he so happy? Fine there is a wedding and someone here is getting married, why the fuck are you so happy about it? He will also want to make sure that you meet his aunt's second cousin's niece who is your age so that 'you can get to know each other well, after all it's your turn next'.
The cranky kid: This is the kid that should have been left at home, but either his/her parent's didn't find a babysitter (I don't blame babysitter's) or simply didn't have consideration for others in the wedding. Invariably this kid will be crying, not just sobbing or wailing, but howling at the top of his voice for no apparent reason. To make matters worse he/she will be wearing those irritating squeaky shoes that make noise (not sound.... noise) when the kids walk. I don't understand what kind of warped sense of humor the parent's have that they decide to buy these shoes for their kids. Soon this kid decides to turn into an engine or worse still an aeroplane and starts hovering around you. These are those kids that should be tripped when no one is looking and when they fall they will cry for five minutes and then probably shut up for the rest of the evening. Revenge is sweet :).
Buffet chatters: Ok I get it, you are getting free food, but dude move it. How much can you eat in a meal? And why is it necessary to stand in the line, stare at the food, ask about where the chicken was purchased, how much oil was used in preparing it, are the rotis fresh. If I was the caterer I would most likely have replied, " The chicken was actually dead 3 years ago but don't worry we tested it for bird flu and the results were inconclusive, the oil really was hair oil that our cook uses and we decided to cut costs so she just squeezed it out of her hair, and as for the rotis, sir these were the left overs from the wedding we did last week. Now since you are so old and already have one foot in the grave we just decided to help you along."
The drunkards: These are undoubtedly my favourites. There are some who make a lot of noise, start dancing, generally are happy for no reason and make sure that they get taken care of (usually by getting themselves thrown out). The quiet drinkers are the more dangerous ones. They will drink and start telling stories about themselves. They will start telling you about how they were the ones who really were the brains behind the success of the growing economy, how they fought famous wars, how they almost became the PM of India. This is not a conversation, it's almost like a theatrical monologue that is performed especially for you. There is only one way to end this misery, by asking them a wild question like, "Wasn't it you that was living with two wives at the same time and having an affair with your boss' secretary?"
The all important Priest: No Indian wedding is completed without this guy. For some unknown reason he is the guy given the most importance! I mean do you job, take your money, eat and go na! But no, he will make sure that everyone in the bride and the groom's close family will touch his feet, he will unfailingly throw some tantrum and make sure that everyone comes running to him to apologize b'coz the bananas are not the right color of yellow that he had asked for. In Maharashtrian weddings what is worse is that he creates this hawan ensuring that there is smoke everywhere in the wedding hall, causing pollution and giving that cranky kid one more reason to cry.
So as they say, after eating the shaadi ka ladoo in this case it is not the bride or the groom who regret it. It is souls like you and me who end up regretting going there in the first place!
Monday, 15 September 2008
Hurricane Ike
So I experienced a hurricane and it was pretty much what I had expected it to be. Windy, wet, scary and it left the city in a huge mess. Currently I am still without electricity (writing from my clinic right now), I do have water though so things are not all that bad. The state if the city is much worse. Shortage of gas, water, food, looters looking for every opportunity to loot people, most places still don't have electricity and/or water.
Friday night was when Ike decided that it was time to make it's presence felt. It had pretty much been in the news for about a week before and was predicted to be cat 3 when it hit landfall. Galveston was one of the cities that was gonna be in the firing range first. Mandatory evacuation and all those good things had been ordered....
Here's where I being doubting whether the US really is a progressed country. When you have been forewarned that this hurricane is pretty much going to fuck your city...what is it that keeps you from evacuating the city in time??? What is the fascination in waiting till the very last minute and then suddenly getting up and being like, "OK I should have left like yesterday, but my hormones were playing seesaw and so here I am in this mess and now since I am in this shit and can't die by myself I'm gonna call the rescue people and make them risk their own lives...after all that's why they are the rescue people right???" Sure there are a few idiots all over the world, but for 20,000 people on the island not to leave, my guess is there are some messed up genes in there. A few hours before the hurricane strikes, a guy decides that it is fancy dress time and out he comes running on the beach in his bear costume!!! I mean sure, people have fetishes and eccentricities, but surely he did not believe that he would survive a hurricane dressed as a bear???
OK I still don't have power, and I'm still not happy...but I'm safe....and while I feel sorry for the community at large, I do not feel sorry for those who did not pay heed to repeated warnings and decided to risk their own lives and the lives of others....sorry but i just don't feel sorry for them
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